Watchmen in Two Viewings and Just as Many Parts

Last Thursday I finally got to see Watchmen. I read the book in 9th grade when admittedly, most of it went over my head but even then eagerly awaited the day when it would be made into a movie adaptation. The following years only offered a series of rumors and false starts until after the successful adaptation of 300, director Zack Snyder said he was going after Watchmen next. The anticipation builds...

Anyone who's even attempted to read the graphic novel from which Watchmen originates will tell you it's a very dense and convoluted story. So much so to the point where it also includes all-encompassing back stories to practically every character in its pages and an adaptation in its truest sense would mean a 6-hour film that not even I would sit still for. Okay, I would. But only once.

But I'm not going to go on about comic to screen comparisons with traditional fanboy blather. I did like the movie very much, but that's another post for another time that in all honestly probably will never happen. What I am going to talk about are the 2 very different days and sets of circumstances under which I saw Watchmen. If nothing else, for my own gratification.

Part One: Playing Hookey From My Own Life

In Buffalo the winters have the tendency to be brutal. Commonplace, but brutal. We're right on Lake Erie which makes for some rotten snowstorms in the winter and repugnant humudity in the summer. Basically perpetual discomfort for at least 7 months out of the year in one shape or another. But right now that discomfort looks like its starting to break up. This past winter left us with blocks of weeks at a time where the temperatures were in the teens. In turn this actually would leave people happy when the high temperature for any given day would be in the 30s. Sad, but true.

A month before I'd reserved/pre-ordered tickets for the IMAX midnight showing on Fandango. When dealing with a movie surrounded with as much anticipation or geek stench as Watchmen has, getting tickets for that kind of event can only be guaranteed by reserving them and not dawdling. Call a couple people, get an official headcount, charge the tickets and everybody's in.

Now for Thursday, the day of the event, I could've easily went home from work even an hour early and easily made it to the show on time. But that's kind of a drag. I like hanging out with my friends for a while before because you're not really going to talk during the movie and by the time the movie's over everyone's ready for bed or dreading the following workday on crumbs of sleep.

So I took a vacation day and didn't tell my wife for uninteresting reasons I don't feel like going into. Nothing lurid or shady mind you, but if you're married you know it's fun just like having your own little secrets to convince yourself you're not completely emasculated or domesticated. Or maybe you just need a break. I left the house around the regular time and headed to where my friend Diane and I designated. We made a quick stop and walked around the park behind the art museum in (get this...!) 56 degree weather. It was grey, but it wasn't 24 degrees. In the first week of March the day was a godsend but if it was the first week of May you'd hear endless complaints. I don't remember what Diane and I talked about, but my hatred of hipsters came up and we got scared when we saw youths.

After that we got hungry and went to dinner. Diane loves food. Now when I say she loves food, I don't mean that in a when she sits around the house, she sits around the house kind of way. Her love of food parallels my love of movies. I love and appreciate Stanley Kubrick movies the way she appreciates a fine gourmet food. But we both appreciate trips to Denny's the way that we can appreciate the works of Edward D. Wood, Jr. She almost blindly trusts my taste in new movies coming to the theater (presuming the preview looks good) and I trusted her taste in chow. We ended up at an Italian deli on Hertel Ave, still feeling the effects of our afternoon walk.

Our waiter was a fancy Italian fella with long hair. And an accent! I was torn between pizza and a pinini. I went with the pinini because despite the place being a corner deli it had an air of fanciness about it that led me to believe the pizza would be a personal-sized one. The food was good even though the pinini doing some vile things to my dumper the next morning. After dinner and dessert we walked around the cool evening breeze. We ended up on a side street and I saw one of the supervisors from work going into her house with her daughters. Out of fear of looking like a stalker I hid behind Diane until we passed. We said our good nights and I went to my friend Jake's place.

Oh, and we saw Watchmen in IMAX at midnight. As always, a few dolts dressed up as superheroes. As I mentioned previously, the movie does come from complex source material and any hopes of getting it done right in under 2 1/2 hours are null and void. The movie was about 2 hours and 45 minutes but we hit the dry points in the movie that turned into MST3K moments for Jake, Tony and myself. Some of which revolved around Dr. Manhattan's blue and phony-looking (but not final shot of Boogie Nights phony) wenis. We got some laughs, the movie was really good and I had to work in the morning.

Part Two: Where the Hell Did This Daylight Savings Time Shit Come From and When Did McDonald's Breakfast Get So Shitty?

Saturday, the day I promised Diane I'd go see Watchmen with her started off a tad rocky. I forgot my phone at home. I hate to admit that somewhere along the line I turned into that guy. If I leave my phone, my watch or my wedding ring I feel generally off for the day. I got through a 5-hour shift at the record store with relative ease, but when I got home my daughter had already taken her nap. Which meant that I didn't get one and my wife left for work shortly after I got home. Bye!

Between the new puppy, my daughter and a few tasks around the house it was a zoo. The dog (who has been named Tippy) shit in the house like 3 times, my daughter was trying to climb everything possible in the house and it was chaos. Tippy reserves dropping a deuce (fortunately in the same spot on the limoleum tile every time) for me exclusively. My sister came over and got a tad angry at me for yelling at the dog. I felt myself aging or about to have a nervous breakdown so we crated the dog up and went to Target. Fortunately we went to the ghetto, picked-over one in North Buffalo so I didn't really spend any money except on Nature's Best cereal bars because I forgot to give my daughter one before we left.

We got home, my sister split and my daughter started getting tired. Because of Watchmen's extended running time there was no midnight IMAX show that Diane and I were hoping to catch. My wife said earlier in the day that she'd be home by 9:30 or 10 but the last IMAX showing was at 10:30 and the final 35mm showing was at 11:40. My wife got home about 10:30

Called Diane and hightailed it to the theater. We agreed to eat before the movie. I think the only things I ate in a 12-hour span were a bagel and a candy bar. We met at a place called Quaker Steak and Lube. I know, I know. I was a tad freaked because I wasn't sure we were going to make the movie. We went sideways in the parking lot and made our plans for the night known to the staff who said it shouldn't be a problem. Diane got a steak and I got a burger with pulled pork on it. It wasn't a meal, it was a challenge which I accepted. I felt my chest tightening up as I ate this monster and I vanquished it with relative swiftness. But it was after I ate that thing that I started to feel really dirty. I felt like a sorority chick that got gangbanged by an entire frathouse and was made to watch it later.

I got over myself then Diane and I got to the theater. Didn't miss one trailer either. But what happened next was something that hasn't happened to me since I was 4 years old. I fell asleep during the movie. Diane had forgiven me but I was more disappointed in myself. I woke up for the last 45 minutes or so but I was in and out for most of the movie.

After the movie and on my way home my phone said 3:45AM. Wha--? My watch said 2:45AM. What the hell was going on? I was hungry again. After my night of gluttony I was hungry again. I hit an ATM and swung by the McDonald's across from the airport. And they were serving breakfast. The guy in the menu board said they just ran out of their "lunch stuff." I asked him what time it was and he told me it was almost four. The "spring ahead thing" happened. I got 2 sausage McMuffins and an iced tea. And it was gross.

The second of my Watchmen experiences was disappointing. The company of the lovely and talented Diane being its only saving grace. Granted, I had a long day, I didn't get a nap, it was late and I lost an hour. But I guess what I'm most angry about is not knowing that daylight savings time went down that night. Normally I'll hear it like 37 times throughout the week to spring ahead or fall back. But this time, like the night itself, nothing. Zilch.