"There is a man that live next door
In my neighborhood
In my neighborhood
And he gets me down..."
-Massive Attack
Admittedly this isn't the best picture. Downright awful, truth be told. Taken through a dirty porch window (or through a dirty cameraphone lens the more I think about it) this is the kid(?) who haunts my neighborhood. Or more specifically my front step.
I first noticed her a couple months ago. She stands oftentimes halfway between my absentee neighbor's house and mine. Sometimes on my end, sometimes on his. She's usually wearing pajama pants and is always either fucking around on her iPod or texting on her cell phone. She's Native American and could be anywhere from 11 to 32 years old. Granted, she never does anything wrong (like throw her feces at my house, use the knob on my front door as a "prom date" or play shitty music loudly) but that doesn't mean I want some freak standing in front of my house. You've got to walk past it, no problem! Just keep it moving...!
It came with great relief to me that my wife knew who I was talking about as well as our upstairs tenant. Neither of them knew who the fuck this crackpot is, but they knew who I was talking about and sometimes, just sometimes, knowing you're not a delusional wingnut is all you'll get.
As far as theories as to who the fuck this is, I've got one. There's a house about 3 doors to the left of mine where a revolving cast of characters of the Native American persuasion live. I want to say there's the mother (with 3-4 kids) and X amount of brothers who are in and out of the place. I don't want to make them sound like The Yellow Dragons from The Golden Child but there's usually crappy music coming from the house and I get a general filth vibe off of them.
And not because they're Native American.
Sadly last fall one of the kids died. She was a little girl and she was 18 months old. Not much older than my daughter. The rest of the kids were the only ones home while mom was up the street getting a mattress off a neighbor. There was all kinds of speculation as to weird and rare House-like illnesses that claimed the child's life and I thought I heard the word quarantine at one point. All I know is my daughter never went over there and not to fear monger here, but was never going over there. Turns out the deceased was sick and mom gave her a Tylenol with codeine.
In my neck of the woods, Tylenol with codeine is only available by prescription. Or if you're feeling ambitious you can go across either the Peace or Rainbow Bridge into Canada and buy it over the counter. Granted, pediatrics is only a hobby of mine but even I know you don't give something containing codeine to an 18 month-old child. Whiskey on the gums is still tried and true but codeine is still a no-no. Then after the investigation the woman down the street had the rest of her kids taken away. While I do sympathize to a certain extent with anyone who has their kids taken away there's still the whole giving your 18 month-old codeine thing I still take exception with. But then again, my neighborhood has gotten more and more fucked up over the years.
So, back the to the fucked up woman-child. I don't know who she is but I want her to stop.
Now.
I first noticed her a couple months ago. She stands oftentimes halfway between my absentee neighbor's house and mine. Sometimes on my end, sometimes on his. She's usually wearing pajama pants and is always either fucking around on her iPod or texting on her cell phone. She's Native American and could be anywhere from 11 to 32 years old. Granted, she never does anything wrong (like throw her feces at my house, use the knob on my front door as a "prom date" or play shitty music loudly) but that doesn't mean I want some freak standing in front of my house. You've got to walk past it, no problem! Just keep it moving...!
It came with great relief to me that my wife knew who I was talking about as well as our upstairs tenant. Neither of them knew who the fuck this crackpot is, but they knew who I was talking about and sometimes, just sometimes, knowing you're not a delusional wingnut is all you'll get.
As far as theories as to who the fuck this is, I've got one. There's a house about 3 doors to the left of mine where a revolving cast of characters of the Native American persuasion live. I want to say there's the mother (with 3-4 kids) and X amount of brothers who are in and out of the place. I don't want to make them sound like The Yellow Dragons from The Golden Child but there's usually crappy music coming from the house and I get a general filth vibe off of them.
And not because they're Native American.
Sadly last fall one of the kids died. She was a little girl and she was 18 months old. Not much older than my daughter. The rest of the kids were the only ones home while mom was up the street getting a mattress off a neighbor. There was all kinds of speculation as to weird and rare House-like illnesses that claimed the child's life and I thought I heard the word quarantine at one point. All I know is my daughter never went over there and not to fear monger here, but was never going over there. Turns out the deceased was sick and mom gave her a Tylenol with codeine.
In my neck of the woods, Tylenol with codeine is only available by prescription. Or if you're feeling ambitious you can go across either the Peace or Rainbow Bridge into Canada and buy it over the counter. Granted, pediatrics is only a hobby of mine but even I know you don't give something containing codeine to an 18 month-old child. Whiskey on the gums is still tried and true but codeine is still a no-no. Then after the investigation the woman down the street had the rest of her kids taken away. While I do sympathize to a certain extent with anyone who has their kids taken away there's still the whole giving your 18 month-old codeine thing I still take exception with. But then again, my neighborhood has gotten more and more fucked up over the years.
So, back the to the fucked up woman-child. I don't know who she is but I want her to stop.
Now.
Stop?? STOP??!! Oh, Coop, she's just getting started... and yes, its because she's Native American. I speak from familial experience.
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